May 5, 2018

6 questions to ask yourself when you feel stuck

Vintage keys sticking out of the sand on a beach

On the homepage of this site, I pose the question, “What do you want more of in your life?”.

This question didn’t come out of thin air. It bubbled up out of an anonymous survey I sent out to friends, acquaintances, and friends of friends, asking about their goals, challenges, barriers, and what they think they need to feel fulfilled. Nearly 40 women answered the survey.

All the people who answered have big, beautiful goals. They want more fun, creativity, love, adventure, success, wellness, connection, uncluttered physical environment, and satisfying work.

Some of the things that stand in the way of them realizing their dreams are fear, health challenges, lack of confidence, energy, money, self-esteem, and almost universally, lack of time.

Not everyone who answered the survey feels stuck but it was one of the strongest themes that emerged from the responses.

I have a lot of empathy for feeling stuck. I understand how hard it can be to bust out of well-worn patterns, habits, and beliefs. When I’ve felt like that in the past, I haven’t been able to see what’s possible. I haven’t been able to see that I have choices. It feels like I’m going around and around in circles and nothing changes. My Inner Critic pipes up to tell me that everyone else is moving forward, growing, and changing so there must be something wrong with me that I can’t.

Life throws curveballs. I’m not sure I know anyone who hasn’t been dealt some really challenging and even heartbreaking cards. But outside the things we can’t control there is a lot we can, starting with our thoughts, beliefs, actions, and reactions. Perspective counts and it’s something that can be shifted.

And because we’re all naturally creative, resourceful, and whole all the answers are within.

So, if you’re feeling stuck and want to get things flowing in a new direction, start by asking yourself these 6 questions:

  1. What am I tolerating?
  2. What would “unstuck” look like?
  3. What is important to me now?
  4. What do I want my life to look like in a year?
  5. Who am I becoming?
  6. What do I want more of?

It’s amazing how with more awareness suddenly the possibilities multiply until you realize you’re actually not in the same place you started.

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Sara Smeaton, CPCC<br/><small>Photo by Marina Dempster</small>

Author

Sara Smeaton

Sara Smeaton is a Certified Professional Co-Active Coach (CPCC), writer, and facilitator who partners with people in their middle years to help them grow, thrive, and reconnect with themselves personally and professionally. Passionate about creating space for reflection and new perspectives, Sara works with clients across Canada, the US, and the UK and has been featured on CTV, CBC, Zoomer, Financial Post, and more. Learn more about Sara.

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