May 14, 2021

Are you the main character in your life story?


Imagine watching your life as if it were a movie. Would the audience recognize you as the main character?

At some point in midlife, it is common to look up and realize that for years we’ve been pouring much of our precious time, energy, wisdom, and resources into other people at the expense of our dreams, desires, and needs.

By this stage, we’ve got skills and know-how. It’s easy to help others. Sometimes it’s fun.

But there can be a cost.

It’s not unusual not to be able to answer the question, “what is a dream you have for yourself?” because we’re so conditioned to put everyone else first.

In my early days of running workshops, I used to get the participants to ask one another that question, and they often turned to me with a deer-caught-in-headlights-look. I remember feeling the same way when I was asked that question during my coach training.

Competent, brilliant, talented women leave ourselves off our lists to the point that we find it difficult to name even one small thing we want just for ourselves.

Women are pulled in a thousand different directions, taught that our value comes from serving others, and there simply are not appropriate systems in place to support us. And still, there are often ways in which we can claim back some of our time.

When I realized that I was a supporting character in some parts of my life, it required a major mental shift. Moving into leading character energy doesn’t mean neglecting the people you’re responsible for (though often there is an opportunity to redesign even our closest relationships so that they work better for everyone).

It wasn’t easy to give myself permission to do less for others and explore my own dreams more, to say no to the things that might have been interesting but ultimately weren’t taking me further down the path I wanted to go.

Being the main character in your own life doesn’t mean you don’t care about, support, mentor, and help other people. It does mean you don’t abandon yourself to do so. And it means that you know who you are, what you value, how you want to spend your time, what lights you up, what makes you feel most alive, and you are committed to living into those things.

It’s time to take control over your own narrative.

Your Power Years™ are an invitation to claim back some of that time and energy for yourself, to embrace what you want, and permit yourself to move from a supporting character to the protagonist in your own story. This time is an opportunity to step into a new way of being with yourself and others, to view yourself from a new perspective, and to embody being the author of and the main character in your life story.

If you are resonating with any of this, ask yourself:

  • What does it mean to me to be the main character?
  • If I wasn’t so busy helping, rescuing, or fixing others, what might I do with my time?
  • What’s a deeply buried dream of mine I’ve been putting off for “someday?”

If you’re ready to step into some main character energy, I can help. Book your free connection call and let’s talk.

Sara Smeaton Coaching SS-177 Photo by Marina Dempster
Hi, I'm Sara!

I'm here to reclaim the term 'midlife' and embrace the power these years offer us.

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Sara Smeaton Coaching SS-177 Photo by Marina Dempster


Sara Smeaton

Sara Smeaton is a certified professional coach and facilitator who helps midlife women follow their dreams after forty. She works privately with clients in Canada, the US and the UK.

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